I wish I had been a better kid...

I woke up this morning to beautiful day! The sun was shining brightly through my window pane, the bluejays were not crying out in anger......the smell of farts I did not smell.....life, for me...was pleasant...I look back at yesterday and think that maybe, just maybe, today will be a good day...No. Not good. GREAT!!! Let's flash back to yesterday...the first day of school...
While I have been preparing my dear children for their first day back at school I knew it was going to be a chore, especially for my daughter. After all, she has been with me the last two years as I'm too much of a tight ass to pay for pre-school. I found the same stuff Owen brought home online so I decided to teach her myself and save the $100 a month. Now, I thought of her not being around other children on a daily basis aside from her cousins but she had been in daycare and she's never had a problem with me leaving her before. The closer it got to school the more she was clingy. I took her school shopping and she got new clothes, a new Hannah Montana back pack, a new Jonahs Brothers lunch box, a necklace, a bracelet, and a new watch. Not to mention the essentials of school supplies, skivvies, shoes and socks.
The first day of school comes. Mom is up and at 'em.....wait....is it up and Adam? Or up and at 'em? I'm sticking to my version.....Anyhoo, I get the kids up and Sarah is ready to go to school the minute she wakes up!! I grab a jar of pickles for my friend and put them in my purse. I'm fully aware that this sounds strange. My neighbor canned a bunch this year and still had ones from last year so I have plenty to give away. It was raining, mind you, however, I was not going to go into the first day of school with a jar of pickles in my hand regardless of the weather...
Sarah and Owen get all that needs to be done before school and we head off. Sarah explains on the way how she is nervous but she seems to be doing fine. We get to the school and Owen walks in with no problems as always. He could really give a shit less whether Mom is around at this point. I take Sarah inside and what do we immediately encounter? A bawling Kindergardner which just happens to be a friend of Sarah's. She has no idea what she is doing or where she is going. Apparently, the bus just drops them off and they are to fend for themselves. I look at the teary eyed girl and feel her pain....poor thing...then it hits me....shit. I look at my ever so excited kindergardner and she too, is starting to tear up. SHIT!! Well, Nicky comes to the rescue I take her precious little hand and take her to her leader..."This one's yours!" I say as I make the hand off. We then make it to Mrs. Starns, poor soul...At this point Sarah is crying pretty good and hanging on my leg like four hour old oatmeal (<----you a="" about="" along....="" am="" anarchy="" and="" as="" at="" awhile="" back="" being="" bread="" break="" brutally="" but="" butter="" by="" calmly="" can="" cleaner="" come="" coming="" correct="" course="" day="" didn="" do="" down="" em="" everything="" fingers="" for="" free="" from="" full="" girl="" god="" goes="" going="" good-bye="" grab="" grabs="" great="" gutter="" hair="" hand.="" hand="" has="" have="" hell="" help="" her="" housed="" huge="" i="" if="" in="" is.="" is="" it="" jar="" jerked="" just="" kicking="" know="" left="" like="" liked="" little="" m="" managed.="" massive="" me="" mention="" mind="" moving="" mrs.="" my="" nestled="" not="" notice="" of="" off="" on="" one="" out.="" pickles="" point...all="" possession="" princess="" pry="" pulling="" purse.="" purse="" re="" right="" run="" s="" say="" says="" screaming="" sharply="" she="" shirt.="" shirt="" smile="" something="" spelling="" spew="" spewing="" starns="" starting="" state="" strap="" t="" taken="" tank="" tell="" than="" thank="" that="" the="" then="" there="" think="" thinking...hell="" this="" tightly="" time.="" to="" took="" tops="" try="" trying="" turn="" very="" was="" welcome..did="" what="" where="" with="" ya="" yelling="" yes.="" yes="" you="">MY BLACKBERRY

will be dowsed in bread and butter pickle juice. I finally free myself and take off toward the door. FREEDOM!!!! FREEDOM!!! The kids got home from school and a good day was had by both. They were both telling me about their day and seemed very excited about the next! Just when I thought things were looking up I went and took a pee. Yes, I said it. Took a pee. Used the restroom, John, whatever...While no one had been in there recently it oddly smelt like a turd. After tending to my business I decide to investigate. Nothing on the floor, nothing in the corner. I turned and was face to face with the shower curtain. "Nooo." I said to myself. "Surely I don't need to look in the tub." I turn around. I turn back. I have to look in the tub. As I ripped the shower curtain to the side, there it lay. The lone turd. I ask the kids who left the turd in the tub and I got nothing. Owen didn't do it, and of course Sarah didn't do it. Ryan came home shortly afterwards. I calmly ask him if he, by chance, knew about the turd in the tub. Needless to say, he didn't. He walked into the living room, shut the TV off, looked at the two of them and in the most serious voice the man can make he says, "You two have 10 seconds to tell me who left the turd in the tub." I couldn't do it. I had to retreat to the kitchen and try my hardest not to let them hear me DYING of laughter. Owen immediately started protesting that it was not him. All his turds go in the toilet and that he even remembers to flush them now. Sarah hangs her head and ever so slowly raises her hand. We never did figure out why she left the log in the tub but needless to say, she was sent in to clean it up.

Fast forward to today...Today..I woke up this morning to beautiful day! The sun was shining brightly through my window pane, the bluejays were not crying out in anger......the smell of farts I did not smell.....life, for me...was pleasant...I look back at yesterday and think that maybe, just maybe, today will be a good day...
The kids woke up and we did the daily routine. Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, etc. We are off to school. Owen finds his line perfectly and goes with no problems. I walk Sarah over to her line and she's a little nervous but falls right in. I give her a little nudge on the shoulder and tell her to have a good day and I'll see her after school. She looked a little weak but she was doing good. I gave the old back of the knee drop to Owen and told him good-bye on my way by. As I walked to my car, the whole staff of the superintendents office was watching me waiting for a sign. (My mother works in there) I gave them the thumbs up and three came back to me. I walked to the car, my head held high. Two kids in school...none on the way, and no freak out sessions today.
I get back to the house and jump online. I just start typing and my phone rings.....it's the school nurse. "Mrs. Bundy? This is Mrs. Tucker and I have Sarah in my office and she had vomitted and complains of a stomache ache. She has no fever and she says that she's not aware of having a cold." I reply, "Sarah can puke on command. She's not sick she just doesn't want to be there. Let me talk to her, please."

Sarah: "Mommy? Are you going to come get me now?"
Mommy: "You made yourself throw up didn't you?"
Sarah: "Not really. My stomache just didn't want my breakfast anymore"
Mommy: "Really? Sarah, you have to get used to school. You have 12 more years after this year."
Sarah: "So, are you going to come get me now?"
Mommy: "Put Mrs. Tucker on the phone."
Sarah: "Who is Mrs. Tucker?"
Mommy: "The nurse."

Long story short I went to get my daughter and we came home to which she had to sit on the couch all day including when the other kids came home from school and got to play. Well, she ended up in trouble again and sent to her room because she wouldn't listen to me. My friend Jess came to pick up her two kids that I keep after school and Ryan had come home in the meantime as well. She heard Jess out here and came out to say hello. As she's talking the Jess I take a second look at her..

"Sarah, did you cut your hair?"

"NO!" Her hand immediately goes to her forehead. **(please see below for explanation)**

"SARAH?....DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?!?!?"

Yeah, she cut her hair. I order her back to her room to get me the scissors.

"I don't know where they are!"

"Find them."

"I don't know where they are!"

"Find them, Sarah."

"I don't know where they are!"

"FIND THEM, SARAH!"

"ok, I'll find them.."

I go to her room and I see multiple colored hair swatches from her dolls on her bed as well as the floor. I call Meg and she thankfully feels for me and comes over after she closes her shop to fix what my daughter had done.. It's not terrible, but it's short none the less.

Ryan took her to school today. She was crying when they left and Ryan said she was shaking like a leaf when they got there. She faired well, however, and she said that she didn't cry after she got into the school. She had a great day. I have high hopes for Monday. We'll see how it turns out.

**I've told my children since they were two years old that Mommy and Daddy can see a red mark on their forehead when they lie. With proper training...my kids now cover their foreheads up when they are lying so I cannot see the red mark. They haven't realized yet that they are completely giving themselves away by dork slapping themselves. I don't even have to do it! Not only do I know they are lying, they kick their own asses trying to cover it up! And this, my friends, makes me smile.

Well, I'm off to my sister in laws for a much needed drink and maybe some food. What an exhausting week!!! And did I mention I hate weekends?? This one definitely is not going to be any better. Busy and too much to think about. Let's all hope for a better week for Nicky, shall we?

Until then...I bid you all adieu...Have a great weekend!